A war we can win

Some of you might remember this past summer when a hot topic here on Cicero Jones was the War Against Manliness. Floyd Landis, American Hero, was subjected to vicious attacks from primarily French antagonists, upset that a Frenchman had still not won the Tour de France since the time of Napoleon (when the Emperor himself won it during every year of his reign, despite not actually competing). They accused him of having too much testosterone in his blood, compared to the standard levels found in the modern French male.

My defense of Landis, at the time, seemed to fall on deaf ears. But, to everyone's surprise but my own, it turns out I was right. The charges against Landis remain unsubstantiated. And now, according to Outside magazine, the tests of Landis' A and B samples were conducted by the same lab technicians - a big no no in the world of drug testing, as this gives the technicians the power to validate their own work.

Floyd also received the support of Phil Ligget, the "Voice of the Tour" and, apparently, a very well-respected dude in the cycling world:

"I ran into Floyd and we had a very quiet one-on-one around the dinner table," said Phil Liggett, a sports journalist who covers the Tour de France for Versus (formerly OLN) and CBS Sports. "He's so angry. During the week he announced his defense policies. There have been mistakes made on the testing and I believe he will win his appeal."

Also of note is the Floyd Fairness Fund, whose mission is:

• To support Floyd Landis against unsubstantiated doping allegations
• To provide the means to attain fairness for Floyd
• To bring justice to those responsible for misconduct in the case

So, it seems to me that our counterattack in the War Against Manliness is proceeding nicely. Soon, the Anti Man forces will be vanquished, Floyd will return to his rightful throne, and everyone can have a cold, 'merican beer to celebrate.