31 October 2006
Cheney Hurls Accusations
The headline says it all:
There is the very really possibility that Dick Cheney wakes up next Wednesday morning to his worst nightmare having become reality: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and Senate Majority Leader Hillary Clinton.
¶ 1:59 PM 0 comments
Cheney Accuses Democrats Of Trying To Influence US Elections
Cheney also mentioned specific speeches and appearances made by prominent Democrats like Jim Webb, Claire McCaskill, Patrick Murphy and others over the past few weeks. In the appearances the Democrats attacked the Bush Administration positions on Iraq, health care, the environment and national security. Cheney intimated that the attacks were peculiar in their timing. "Well, clearly they're aware of our campaign calendar here in the United States. I mean, isn't it interesting that all these Democrats are holding rallies NOW? It seems like the Democrats are actually involved and want to involve themselves in our electoral process, which must mean they want a change."
There is the very really possibility that Dick Cheney wakes up next Wednesday morning to his worst nightmare having become reality: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and Senate Majority Leader Hillary Clinton.
¶ 1:59 PM 0 comments
30 October 2006
I like very much
Looks like the "best minds in comedy" have come to realize what we Ali G fans realized three years ago:
Yekshimesh.
¶ 3:36 PM 0 comments
One evening this summer, a number of Hollywood's finest comedic minds gathered in a Los Angeles screening room to watch an early rough cut of a new comedy, awkwardly titled Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. The audience, which included legendary stand-up comic Garry Shandling, Simpsons writer George Meyer, 40 Year-Old Virgin director Judd Apatow, and Curb Your Enthusiasm star-creator Larry David, thought they were just there to offer the filmmakers a little helpful feedback. When the movie ended and the lights came up, everyone realized they'd just seen something totally original, perhaps even revolutionary. Capturing the sense of collective astonishment, Meyer turned to Apatow and said, ''I feel like someone just played me Sgt. Pepper's for the first time.''
Yekshimesh.
¶ 3:36 PM 0 comments
The Future of the Famous Bowl
So, recently I wrote about KFC's new Famous Bowls. Not too healthy, obviously. But then today I read that KFC is considering banning trans fats. Is the Colonel a flip-flopper on the healthy eating issue? It appears to me that he was for trans fats before he was against them. Oh, and if you're unsure of what trans fats are, here's some helpful insight:
Anyway, I looked up the mashed potato-based Famous Bowl's nutrition facts. Unsuprisingly, 4.5 grams of trans fat. With the trans fat ban on the horizon, is the Famous Bowl's time coming to a close? I call on KFC to come clean with the American public on this issue. Wither the Famous Bowl?
¶ 2:43 PM 0 comments
New York City health officials say these so-called trans fats are so unhealthy they belong in the same category as food spoiled by rodent droppings.Here is KFC's own page on its Famous Bowls. Apparently, it's a Choose Your Carb - there is a also a rice-based version, though it definitely plays second fiddle to the mashed pototato goodness.In fact, on Monday, the Board of Health will hold its first public hearing on a proposal to make New York the first U.S. city to ban restaurants from serving food containing artificial trans fats.
"This is something we'd like to dismiss from our food supply," said Dr. Robert H. Eckel, immediate past president of the American Heart Association.
Anyway, I looked up the mashed potato-based Famous Bowl's nutrition facts. Unsuprisingly, 4.5 grams of trans fat. With the trans fat ban on the horizon, is the Famous Bowl's time coming to a close? I call on KFC to come clean with the American public on this issue. Wither the Famous Bowl?
¶ 2:43 PM 0 comments
When the war comes home...
I will let this article from the Washington Post speak for itself. It deals with a Marine Reserve company of 160 men from Ohio, who returned from Iraq just about a year ago, after losing 23 men killed in action. Their story is one that I am sure will be experienced time and time again for years to come, as long as we remain bogged down in Iraq. The divide between those who have been and those who haven't will continue to widen. In the article, one of the Vets talks about not wanting to hunt for deer any more since he has come back. He says hunting humans is so much more fun. His friends tell him he needs therapy. He doesn't think so.
What is this war doing to our country? Where will it leave us two decades from now? ¶ 11:38 AM 0 comments
What is this war doing to our country? Where will it leave us two decades from now? ¶ 11:38 AM 0 comments
The future of the beloved Famous Bowl
So, recently I wrote about KFC's new Famous Bowls. Not too healthy, obviously. But then today I read that KFC is considering banning trans fats. Is the Colonel a flip-flopper on the healthy eating issue? It appears to me that he was for trans fats before he was against them. Oh, and if you're unsure of what trans fats are, here's some helpful insight:
Anyway, I looked up the mashed potato-based Famous Bowl's nutrition facts. Unsuprisingly, 4.5 grams of trans fat. With the trans fat ban on the horizon, is the Famous Bowl's time coming to a close? I call on KFC to come clean with the American public on this issue. Wither the Famous Bowl? ¶ 11:37 AM 0 comments
New York City health officials say these so-called trans fats are so unhealthy they belong in the same category as food spoiled by rodent droppings.Here is KFC's own page on its Famous Bowls. Apparently, it's a Choose Your Carb - there is a also a rice-based version, though it definitely plays second fiddle to the mashed pototato goodness.In fact, on Monday, the Board of Health will hold its first public hearing on a proposal to make New York the first U.S. city to ban restaurants from serving food containing artificial trans fats.
"This is something we'd like to dismiss from our food supply," said Dr. Robert H. Eckel, immediate past president of the American Heart Association.
Anyway, I looked up the mashed potato-based Famous Bowl's nutrition facts. Unsuprisingly, 4.5 grams of trans fat. With the trans fat ban on the horizon, is the Famous Bowl's time coming to a close? I call on KFC to come clean with the American public on this issue. Wither the Famous Bowl? ¶ 11:37 AM 0 comments
27 October 2006
The Colonel would not be pleased...
I just saw a commercial for something very...caloric. KFC has introduced its "Famous Bowls". What is this, you ask? From Fast Food News
That is just wrong. But I'll admit: I only started to think it was disgusting when they got to the cheese. I think you ruin the power of the gravy when you introduce the cheese. Particularly the 3-cheese blend, which, we all know, can be deadly in many situations. Has anyone tried one of these Famous Bowls?
¶ 9:12 PM 3 comments
If you haven't seen the TV ads yet, let me introduce you to KFC's new Famous Bowls... a fast food idea that's long overdue: take the customer's 'favorite' items from your fast food menu board and mix them together in a bowl so they can be eaten with a spoon (or a shovel)!
Here's KFC description: "Freshly prepared with layers of your KFC favorites - a generous serving of our creamy mashed potatoes, sweet kernel corn, bite size pieces of all-white meat crispy chicken, topped with our homestyle gravy and 3-cheese blend."
That is just wrong. But I'll admit: I only started to think it was disgusting when they got to the cheese. I think you ruin the power of the gravy when you introduce the cheese. Particularly the 3-cheese blend, which, we all know, can be deadly in many situations. Has anyone tried one of these Famous Bowls?
¶ 9:12 PM 3 comments
New Yorkers: Nice
As a New Yorker, I know that my city is filled with nice people. However, I often forget. It's stories like this that remind me again:
Mr. Littman began distributing hugs -- free -- from 1 to 4 p.m. on Sundays in Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village.''At first I thought no one would respond,'' said Mr. Littman, 26, who lives in Manhattan. But on his first Sunday, standing before a giant hand-lettered sign that reads ''Free Hugs,'' Mr. Littman and a friend embraced 200 people in two and a half hours. "There's a lot of war and blood in the world right now,'' he said, ''and this helps to even it out."
Gotta love how NYers react:
''First, I was like totally paranoid,'' said Elizabeth Singer, 48, a psychotherapist who watched Mr. Littman from the distance while her Maltese played in the dog run. ''But he seems to be really happy and generous. Of course, being a New Yorker, you wonder what happy and generous really is.''Read the whole thing, it's great. It's funny how many people think he has ulterior motives. This article was written over two years ago, and just linked to today from the Morning News, so I have no idea if he is still doing it. ¶ 3:01 PM 2 comments
Video: Reader Reaction
In celebration of our 2nd birthday, here is a video that, I think, really captures a lot of the excitement my readers have told me they feel when reading the blog:
For more video goodness, check out Sarah Hepola's "Video Digest" over at the Morning News. This month Sarah looks at those creepy right-wing haunted houses that try and use Halloween to convince people not to have abortions. Brilliant! ¶ 2:52 PM 0 comments
For more video goodness, check out Sarah Hepola's "Video Digest" over at the Morning News. This month Sarah looks at those creepy right-wing haunted houses that try and use Halloween to convince people not to have abortions. Brilliant! ¶ 2:52 PM 0 comments
Happy Birthday, Cicero Jones
So, today Cicero Jones turns 2. Yep, 2 years of mighty blogging, all begun with this post, highlighting Eminem's opposition to W. Way back then, Eminem still was a slightly relevant pop star. Now I believe he owns several Krispy Kreme franchises in the Detroit area and is doing quite well, though staying out of the spotlight. I telephoned him for an anniversary interview, but he declined.
Anyway, cheers for 2 more. I figure if I can do that, I can make enough money for an early retirement.
¶ 2:51 PM 3 comments
Anyway, cheers for 2 more. I figure if I can do that, I can make enough money for an early retirement.
¶ 2:51 PM 3 comments
26 October 2006
#2 Best Concert in Boston Ever
I am not sure that I have ever been to a concert in Boston. It's possible that I never will. However, if I had a time machine (or similar device, potion, etc) I would definitely head to Boston for September 23, 1991. Specifically, I would (upon exiting the time machine or similar device) take a cab (or the T, I tend to favor mass transit where practical) to the Axis rock club. Why, you ask? For a little rock n roll concert of couse. Who might be headlining that night? Well, none other than Bullet LaVolta. Bullet LaVolta? Oh yes, apparently they were once a great band. Oh, but I would actually be more interested in the two opening bands, you might be more familiar with them: Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins.
Yes, it's true. According to the Boston Phoenix, which lists the top 40 concerts in Boston history, the very night BEFORE the release of Nirvana's Nevermind (oft-cited Best Rock Album of All Time) those two historic bands opened for Bullet. (Watch a few minutes of Nirvana's set from that night here). The Phoenix says:
I wonder, were I able to get back to that date in my time machine, would I be able to score a ticket?
¶ 2:17 PM 0 comments
Yes, it's true. According to the Boston Phoenix, which lists the top 40 concerts in Boston history, the very night BEFORE the release of Nirvana's Nevermind (oft-cited Best Rock Album of All Time) those two historic bands opened for Bullet. (Watch a few minutes of Nirvana's set from that night here). The Phoenix says:
People were flying through the air. Every 15 or 20 seconds another body would be propelled over the crowd's heads as if squeezed from a tube, be caught, and then slip back safely into the masses. There were too many people for anyone to fall straight to the floor. And it wasn't only the audience. From the first chord Cobain was like a super ball — he seemed to ricochet off the floor into the air, off the audience back to the stage, off his amp to the front, and back again. His feet hardly touched the ground. Yet somehow every song came through with teeth-gritting perfection.
Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan was also a commanding presence. The Pumpkins played so loud their set had a hurricane-like force. But there was a deep emotional resonance embedded in that wall of sound — an annex of what Jimi Hendrix called "the electric church."
I wonder, were I able to get back to that date in my time machine, would I be able to score a ticket?
The Panama Canal and Immigration
What do these two things have to do with each other? According to Andres Oppenhemier, Miami Herald columnist, there is a lesson to be found in the former for the latter.
Specifically, when the US Congress was debating the Panama Canal Treaties in the late 70s, there was a loud, nationalist outcry against turning the all-important Canal over to "backwards" Central Americans. Surely these uncivilized Panamanians would never be able to handle the administration and operation of one of the world's most important trade arteries. Yes, our elected officials actually made statements like:
Though that sounds like it was uttered in 1877, it was actually spoken in 1977, not even 30 years ago. Even after the treaties were signed that year, foreigner-hating Americans continued to question Panama's readiness. So, were they right? How have things gone since the handover? According to Oppenheimer:
As I have said repeatedly on this blog, we as global citizens need to understand what true free trade is and that it can only bring us closer together as a planet. True free trade is not high steel tariffs. True free trade is not radically restrictive and reactionary immigration policies and ill-thought fences. It is a formalized understanding between many peoples that says:
¶ 2:04 PM 2 comments
Specifically, when the US Congress was debating the Panama Canal Treaties in the late 70s, there was a loud, nationalist outcry against turning the all-important Canal over to "backwards" Central Americans. Surely these uncivilized Panamanians would never be able to handle the administration and operation of one of the world's most important trade arteries. Yes, our elected officials actually made statements like:
''The mechanisms of the canal do not operate by means of good feelings . . . but requires the skillful manipulation of a complex series of locks,'' then Sen. Paul Laxalt, R-Nev., told the same committee. ``Panama does not have such qualified people.''
Though that sounds like it was uttered in 1877, it was actually spoken in 1977, not even 30 years ago. Even after the treaties were signed that year, foreigner-hating Americans continued to question Panama's readiness. So, were they right? How have things gone since the handover? According to Oppenheimer:
Oppenheimer rightfully suggests hat we should remember this lesson in considering the Immigration Question today. Should we put up a (laughable and tragically impractical) fence, as a bill signed President Bush yesterday calls for? Or should we instead realize that further integration with our neighbors to the south will only lead to greater prosperity for all?• The Panama Canal's income has soared from $769 million in 2000, the first year under Panamanian control, to $1.4 billion in 2006, according to Panama Canal Authority figures.
• Traffic through the canal went up from 230 million tons in 2000 to nearly 300 million tons in 2006;
• The number of accidents has gone down from an average of 28 per year in the late '90s to 12 accidents in 2005;
• The average transit time through the canal is averaging about 30 hours, about the same as in the late '90s;
• Canal expenses have increased much less than revenues over the past six years -- from $427 million in 2000 to $497 million in 2006.
As I have said repeatedly on this blog, we as global citizens need to understand what true free trade is and that it can only bring us closer together as a planet. True free trade is not high steel tariffs. True free trade is not radically restrictive and reactionary immigration policies and ill-thought fences. It is a formalized understanding between many peoples that says:
- If you need work, you may seek it where it is available, and you may compete for it on an equal playing field and be paid for it appropriately. The xenophobic hatred of some people should not prevent this.
- If you have money, you may invest it as you please, receiving no greater benefits than any other investor in the economy and fully in accordance with the law. Yesterday's protectionist backwards thinking be damned.
23 October 2006
Out: Warner, In: Gore
Let me excerpt Political Wire then make a few comments:
Ok, first of all, Robert Novak is the far-right's Prince of Darkness, so it's hard to trust much of anything he writes. And what he says about Gore being to Hillary's left and Warner being to her right is nonsense: modern US politics are far too complex to categorize that simplistically, and Novak should know better.
That said, I think it has become clear that Warner was in many ways a guy Gore would've supported: big on building a high-tech America, with access for all, and also understanding the necessity of building modern scientific/environmental thought into all levels of policymaking. So, does Gore see an opening now (even more than before)?
The other guy making 2008 headlines now is, of course, Barack Obama. If I had to guess, I'd say he won't run. Not to be too cynical, but he did just release a book, and all of this president-in-the-making talk can't be hurting sales. But maybe it will pump him up just enough to make a go for it.
Lastly, linking back to Ryan Lizza's article on Mark Warner's departure, I'll leave you with a Warner quote from a New Hampshire campaign stop that will make you wonder what could've been: "We've fallen to sixteenth in the world in terms of broadband deployment!"
16th in the world. Man, if like John McCain or someone wins in '08, I could easily see us falling to 20th or below in broadband deployment. Vote Gore! (because I'm sure he'll invent something even better than broadband!). In all seriousness, imagine what a Gore/Warner administration would do for the U.S. high-tech industry.
¶ 9:25 AM 0 comments
Mark Warner's "decision to withdraw from consideration for the 2008 presidential nomination has produced speculation at high levels of the Democratic Party that former Vice President Al Gore may run again," Robert Novak reports.
"Warner was to challenge front-running Sen. Hillary Clinton from the right, while Gore is on her left. Nevertheless, Gore succeeds Warner as the most likely 'non-Hillary' to battle her for the nomination."
Ok, first of all, Robert Novak is the far-right's Prince of Darkness, so it's hard to trust much of anything he writes. And what he says about Gore being to Hillary's left and Warner being to her right is nonsense: modern US politics are far too complex to categorize that simplistically, and Novak should know better.
That said, I think it has become clear that Warner was in many ways a guy Gore would've supported: big on building a high-tech America, with access for all, and also understanding the necessity of building modern scientific/environmental thought into all levels of policymaking. So, does Gore see an opening now (even more than before)?
The other guy making 2008 headlines now is, of course, Barack Obama. If I had to guess, I'd say he won't run. Not to be too cynical, but he did just release a book, and all of this president-in-the-making talk can't be hurting sales. But maybe it will pump him up just enough to make a go for it.
Lastly, linking back to Ryan Lizza's article on Mark Warner's departure, I'll leave you with a Warner quote from a New Hampshire campaign stop that will make you wonder what could've been: "We've fallen to sixteenth in the world in terms of broadband deployment!"
16th in the world. Man, if like John McCain or someone wins in '08, I could easily see us falling to 20th or below in broadband deployment. Vote Gore! (because I'm sure he'll invent something even better than broadband!). In all seriousness, imagine what a Gore/Warner administration would do for the U.S. high-tech industry.
22 October 2006
More posts soon
A busy week at work, in combination with the Mets tragic loss, have led to the silence here. We'll be back soon, with more witty, thought-provoking goodness. In the meantime, I'll leave you with the latest lists from McSweeneys:
Creationist Astronomers Polled Regarding Pluto's Status:
Light hung by God from celestial canopy: 49%
Hole cut into celestial canopy, revealing God's light from behind: 51%
As you can see, it's tight.
And then:
Businesses That Failed to Duplicate the Success of "I Can't Believe It's Yogurt."¶ 3:14 PM 2 comments
You Have the Audacity to Call This Yogurt?
Bullshit, Dude, That's Not Yogurt
I'm Not Prepared to Call This Yogurt
I Can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Yogurt!
You're Fucking Kidding Me. This Is Yogurt?
Liar! It's Not Yogurt. It Can't Be
Your Conscience Should Dictate That You Admit This Isn't Yogurt
This Isn't Yogurt, Is It? Wait, It Is? Forget It, Then
16 October 2006
What a party
This is why I love Bill Murray:
¶ 9:33 AM 0 comments
Bill Murray created a small sensation in the Scottish town of St. Andrews, joining Scandinavian students at a late-night party and even helping to wash the dishes, a newspaper reported Sunday. [...]Bill has an open invitation to the next Cicero Jones bash.To Stavnef's surprise, Murray accepted her invitation to a party and accompanied her and her friend to a party, the newspaper said.
She said she was first concerned when the apartment had no clean glasses left, but that Murray was happy to drink vodka from a coffee cup and also helped wash dishes in the cramped kitchen.
The Sunday Telegraph article was accompanied by a photograph that appears to show Murray, dressed in a checkered shirt and a brown vest, washing a metal pot at the sink.
¶ 9:33 AM 0 comments
14 October 2006
Why even bother to play the games then?
Want to know whose going to win in the NFL this week? Check out ESPN's simulations of the coming Sunday's game, done via Madden 07. Skeptical? It correctly predicted the winner in all 14 games last week. According to this week's forecasts, my Giants are going down to the Falcons, 27-24.
¶ 10:15 AM 0 comments
13 October 2006
On the lighter side
Too many serious posts. Here's some late night political humor:
"The Army has a new slogan. It's replacing its slogan, 'An Army of One,' with 'Army Strong.' I knew we were lowering the academic requirements. I didn't realize we were wiping out the use of verbs." --Jay Leno
"Yesterday a man from Mexico was arrested because he was trying to sneak into the United States, and he was so fat he got stuck in the tunnel he was using. Which is unfair because if the man is that fat, he belongs in the United States." --Conan O'Brien
"Now there are dozens of calls for House Speaker Dennis Hastert to step down. As you know, Hastert was a former gym teacher and boys' wrestling coach. To which Mark Foley said, 'Why would anybody quit a dream job like that?'." --Jay Leno
"President Bush says we need more time to determine if what (North Korea) detonated was a nuclear device. Well sure, that makes sense, because Bush doesn't want to rush to judgment when it comes to weapons of mass destruction." --David Letterman
"Happy Columbus Day..On this day in 1492 Christopher Columbus discovered America. And it turns out the Republicans discovered it three years earlier, but said nothing." --David Letterman
¶ 11:41 AM 0 comments
"The Army has a new slogan. It's replacing its slogan, 'An Army of One,' with 'Army Strong.' I knew we were lowering the academic requirements. I didn't realize we were wiping out the use of verbs." --Jay Leno
"Yesterday a man from Mexico was arrested because he was trying to sneak into the United States, and he was so fat he got stuck in the tunnel he was using. Which is unfair because if the man is that fat, he belongs in the United States." --Conan O'Brien
"Now there are dozens of calls for House Speaker Dennis Hastert to step down. As you know, Hastert was a former gym teacher and boys' wrestling coach. To which Mark Foley said, 'Why would anybody quit a dream job like that?'." --Jay Leno
"President Bush says we need more time to determine if what (North Korea) detonated was a nuclear device. Well sure, that makes sense, because Bush doesn't want to rush to judgment when it comes to weapons of mass destruction." --David Letterman
"Happy Columbus Day..On this day in 1492 Christopher Columbus discovered America. And it turns out the Republicans discovered it three years earlier, but said nothing." --David Letterman
¶ 11:41 AM 0 comments
12 October 2006
I despise Joe Buck
There is no one in broadcasting who I despise more than Joe Buck. I truly hate this guy. For those not in the know, Joe Buck is one of Fox Sports' top play-by-play guys. This means he does football, baseball, and whatever else they want him to. His dad was Jack Buck, considered one of the all-time great broadcasters, who worked his entire career (to my knowledge) doing St. Louis Cardinals games. Joe has also, on a part-time basis, been a Cardinals broadcaster.
Joe Buck has a really annoying voice. It is clear that he has grown up around the broadcasting industry his whole life, because his tones sound so exact, so forced, so...inhuman. I've never enjoyed listening to him. However, Joe Buck really got onto my shitlist one day in early 2005, while he was calling a Green Bay Packers - Minnesota Vikings game. Randy Moss, the flamboyant and effective Vikings wide receiver, torched the Packers' secondary for a TD. Living up to both the great rivalry these teams have shared as well as his own internal flair for the slightly controversial, Randy Moss proceed to pull a FAKE mooning on the crowd in Green Bay. Packers fans - some of the heartiest Americans, perfect targets for such a tongue-in-cheek put down. While watching it live, I laughed. There was no arrogance in Moss' action, just a little spur of the moment move designed to provoke the hostile crowd. Only Joe Buck didn't see it that way. Choosing to ignore his job description, and bequeathing upon himself a new title of Arbiter of American Morality, Joe FREAKED out, stating, "That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss. And it's unfortunate that we have that on our air live. That is digusting by Randy Moss."
But it was really in his tone. A haughty, holier than though, how dare you tone. From the play-by-play guy! Not the color commentator, not your newspaper's op-ed page, but the goddamn play-by-play guy. Yes, in Joe's world, the play-by-play guy should decide what is moral and what is not, should actually have some sort of censorship power. I'll let this article from Dave Zirin take it from here:
So, why I am bringing this up now, almost two years later? Yes, indeed, Joe F-ing Buck is the lead play-by-play man on Fox's coverage of the Mets vs Cardinals National League Championship Series. Yeah you heard that right: Joe Buck, Cardinals Partisan, and Worst Announcer in All of Sports, is covering my favorite team's run in the playoffs. To make it worse: he will be joined in the booth by Tim McCarver, one of the worst color commentators in baseball history, and former St. Louis Cardinal! Two Cardinals in the booth! For the most important series the Mets have played in 6 years! And isn't that just what is right about America.
For more on this, check out this post at Metsblog.com. Clearly, I am not the only one who feels this way.
To Joe Buck I say, "You're disgusting. It is unfortunate we have to have you on the air live."
¶ 5:25 PM 0 comments
Joe Buck has a really annoying voice. It is clear that he has grown up around the broadcasting industry his whole life, because his tones sound so exact, so forced, so...inhuman. I've never enjoyed listening to him. However, Joe Buck really got onto my shitlist one day in early 2005, while he was calling a Green Bay Packers - Minnesota Vikings game. Randy Moss, the flamboyant and effective Vikings wide receiver, torched the Packers' secondary for a TD. Living up to both the great rivalry these teams have shared as well as his own internal flair for the slightly controversial, Randy Moss proceed to pull a FAKE mooning on the crowd in Green Bay. Packers fans - some of the heartiest Americans, perfect targets for such a tongue-in-cheek put down. While watching it live, I laughed. There was no arrogance in Moss' action, just a little spur of the moment move designed to provoke the hostile crowd. Only Joe Buck didn't see it that way. Choosing to ignore his job description, and bequeathing upon himself a new title of Arbiter of American Morality, Joe FREAKED out, stating, "That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss. And it's unfortunate that we have that on our air live. That is digusting by Randy Moss."
But it was really in his tone. A haughty, holier than though, how dare you tone. From the play-by-play guy! Not the color commentator, not your newspaper's op-ed page, but the goddamn play-by-play guy. Yes, in Joe's world, the play-by-play guy should decide what is moral and what is not, should actually have some sort of censorship power. I'll let this article from Dave Zirin take it from here:
It's worth noting that Cris Collinsworth, one of the best color commentators in any sport, saw it for what it was, a pretty funny act that, while not the model for proper Victorian behavior, was certainly no worse than the absolute crap Fox normally shows on its network. Oh, and one year later, Collinsworth found himself fired by Fox. And yeah, Joe Buck went on to do Budweiser ads.At first, color analyst Cris Collinsworth stifled a guffaw saying, "Moss is giving the fans a moon!" But then play-by-play analyst - and statue of rectitude - Joe Buck exploded in outrage, bleating, "That's a DISGUSTING act by Randy Moss, and it's unfortunate we had it on our air live!"
Joe Buck of course has never felt the need to apologize for appearing in the Budweiser "Leon" commercials that parody - with a lovely helping of racism and homophobia - a pretty, lazy, and egomaniacal wide receiver thinly disguised as Moss (although "Leon" would never have caught that pass on a gimpy ankle like Moss did). For Buck, capitalizing on Moss's outrageous personality for the purpose of selling beer is just business as usual.
So, why I am bringing this up now, almost two years later? Yes, indeed, Joe F-ing Buck is the lead play-by-play man on Fox's coverage of the Mets vs Cardinals National League Championship Series. Yeah you heard that right: Joe Buck, Cardinals Partisan, and Worst Announcer in All of Sports, is covering my favorite team's run in the playoffs. To make it worse: he will be joined in the booth by Tim McCarver, one of the worst color commentators in baseball history, and former St. Louis Cardinal! Two Cardinals in the booth! For the most important series the Mets have played in 6 years! And isn't that just what is right about America.
For more on this, check out this post at Metsblog.com. Clearly, I am not the only one who feels this way.
To Joe Buck I say, "You're disgusting. It is unfortunate we have to have you on the air live."
On Mark Warner
Perhaps you have heard, Mark Warner (D-VA) has decided not to pursue the Presidency in 2008. I have posted about Warner quite a bit on this blog, and he was by far my favorite of the "likely" candidates (I still consider Al Gore, my top choice, as unlikely to run). So I am quite upset by this news. Among the group of likely candidates, Warner was the only one who, in my opinion, had a firm grasp of the New Economy and how embracing new technologies early was the key to creating growth and widespread prosperity in America. His initiative to set-up "insourcing" centers in rural Virginia, bringing high-tech jobs to the rural poor, is truly visionary. Furthermore, he is not a typical "back to the future" anti-free trade isolationist Democrat. He understands the concept of the Global Community and the need to be "at the table" when discussing trade agreements, to both ensure no one is left out and to help the people of the developing world gain access to America's famously restricted markets. Not to mention, he is an alumnus of a great school.
So, the Warner-less race leaves me surprised and unsure of whom to support. Hillary Clinton will never win my support in the primaries; she must pay the price for continuing to support the Bush-Lieberman position on Iraq. John Edwards is right on many issues, but his position on trade is a relic of the last century. The rest of the pack has done little to distinguish themselves. Ergo: Al Gore must run.
¶ 1:18 PM 0 comments
So, the Warner-less race leaves me surprised and unsure of whom to support. Hillary Clinton will never win my support in the primaries; she must pay the price for continuing to support the Bush-Lieberman position on Iraq. John Edwards is right on many issues, but his position on trade is a relic of the last century. The rest of the pack has done little to distinguish themselves. Ergo: Al Gore must run.
¶ 1:18 PM 0 comments
An Axis with a Nuclear Core
The Axis of Evil:
Anyone who knew anything about the very different regimes Bush bundled together with that phrase knew that, well, there wasn't any real axis going on there. It was just the now par-for-the-course method of the Bush administration of fitting poor historical analogies onto current global issues (see countless parallels drawn between Osama and Hitler, between withdrawing from Iraq and Neville Chamberlains appeasement of the Nazis, etc). But, this was all more than harmless rhetoric: it actually created a FALSE understanding of the international system in the minds of most Americans.
"Oh, sure," those not in the know though. "So that makes sense, those guys are having weekly conference calls on how to take out the U.S. We take one out, we hurt 'em all." Well, not really, not at all. Our quagmire in Iraq is an unbelievable blessing for both Iran and North Korea. Iran can now inflict continuous damage against the Americans simply by funneling money into Shiite militia groups in Iraq. North Korea can do whatever the hell it wants because there ain't no way the U.S. military can do much of anything on the ground in Korea to stop them. Throughout the world, it is muy chic to be Anti-American.
All, with a brilliant touch of dramatic (nuclear) irony. Iraq? Yeah, didn't exactly have nukes, wasn't exactly close to producing them. Iran? Um, yeah they pretty much have nukes. North Korea? Oh, hmm, yeah looks like they definitely do. Glad we went and took care of that big bad evil Saddam. So he couldn't, um, supply nuclear weapons to terrorists. That will really show those Iranians and North Koreans. Now there is no way they can/will do that. Oh shit.
¶ 12:15 PM 1 comments
Nearly five years later, we can see the damage caused by the president's too-cute slogan and the muddled thinking behind it. By failing to distinguish clearly among the overlapping security threats presented by rogue states, nuclear proliferators, and supporters of terrorism, Bush helped bring his own nightmare to life. Thanks to his foreign policy, many of the world's dictators do now function as a kind of anti-American axis, in a way they didn't when he made that speech.
Anyone who knew anything about the very different regimes Bush bundled together with that phrase knew that, well, there wasn't any real axis going on there. It was just the now par-for-the-course method of the Bush administration of fitting poor historical analogies onto current global issues (see countless parallels drawn between Osama and Hitler, between withdrawing from Iraq and Neville Chamberlains appeasement of the Nazis, etc). But, this was all more than harmless rhetoric: it actually created a FALSE understanding of the international system in the minds of most Americans.
"Oh, sure," those not in the know though. "So that makes sense, those guys are having weekly conference calls on how to take out the U.S. We take one out, we hurt 'em all." Well, not really, not at all. Our quagmire in Iraq is an unbelievable blessing for both Iran and North Korea. Iran can now inflict continuous damage against the Americans simply by funneling money into Shiite militia groups in Iraq. North Korea can do whatever the hell it wants because there ain't no way the U.S. military can do much of anything on the ground in Korea to stop them. Throughout the world, it is muy chic to be Anti-American.
All, with a brilliant touch of dramatic (nuclear) irony. Iraq? Yeah, didn't exactly have nukes, wasn't exactly close to producing them. Iran? Um, yeah they pretty much have nukes. North Korea? Oh, hmm, yeah looks like they definitely do. Glad we went and took care of that big bad evil Saddam. So he couldn't, um, supply nuclear weapons to terrorists. That will really show those Iranians and North Koreans. Now there is no way they can/will do that. Oh shit.
07 October 2006
Ice Sculpture of Saddam
and other key elements of the Iraq Victory Party, as described by John Stewart:
¶ 11:56 AM 0 comments
¶ 11:56 AM 0 comments
05 October 2006
Opinion: When I watch a baseball game, I am primarily interested in the announcers talking about baseball
From Bob Raissman, writing in the Daily News:
The anxiety level was high. Seventh inning. Nomar Garciaparra at the plate facing Guillermo Mota. Mets 4, Dodgers 2. Two outs. Bases loaded.Gary Thorne, ESPN's play-by-play man, called it one of "those key" moments in a playoff game and perhaps the entire Dodgers-Mets division series. On the screen, the familiar sight of Garciaparra adjusting his batting gloves.
"Tim," Thorne said. "A little bit about the movie."
Were we watching a key moment of a playoff game or "Inside the Actors Studio"?
That was absolutely ridiculous, and it is not the first time it has happened. Hey, ESPN: You paid lots of money for the rights to broadcast the playoffs. When people tune in, they expect...the playoffs!
I throw this into the same heap as all of those stupid graphics they flood the screen with too. When I want that shit, I know where I can go: the newspaper, or the internet. When I am watching the game, I want to...watch the game! Tim Robbins, the actor in question, is a great guy, and a totally legit Mets fan. However, I don't think Tim expects David Wright or Jose Reyes to pop up in the middle of his next movie and say to the audience, "Hey, audience, just an FYI: Tim, the principal actor in this film, loves the Mets! Come see our games! They start in April!"
¶ 2:22 PM 2 comments I throw this into the same heap as all of those stupid graphics they flood the screen with too. When I want that shit, I know where I can go: the newspaper, or the internet. When I am watching the game, I want to...watch the game! Tim Robbins, the actor in question, is a great guy, and a totally legit Mets fan. However, I don't think Tim expects David Wright or Jose Reyes to pop up in the middle of his next movie and say to the audience, "Hey, audience, just an FYI: Tim, the principal actor in this film, loves the Mets! Come see our games! They start in April!"
04 October 2006
They Have No Shame
You have to be f-ing kidding me:
¶ 8:14 AM 2 comments
Tucked away in fine print in the military spending bill for this past year was a lump sum of $20 million to pay for a celebration in the nation's capital "for commemoration of success" in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Not surprisingly, the money was not spent.
The original legislation empowered the president to designate "a day of celebration" to commemorate the success of the armed forces in Afghanistan and Iraq, and to "issue a proclamation calling on the people of the United States to observe that day with appropriate ceremonies and activities."
Yes, we are governed by the most corrupt, twisted, sick, perverted Congress and President in our nation's history. I really truly believe that, and I have done my homework. The utter detachment from any semblance of reality should be a lesson for future generations: Yes, it can happen here too, and when it does, it's worse, much worse, than anywhere else because this country is so damn big and powerful. While soliders were bravely fighting and dying in a totally senseless war that has been proven to detrimental to our nation's security, instead of providing them with the resources they needed to get the job done, the Congress was busy protecting a known sexual predator and drawing up plans for some Fantasyland celebration of something that never was, never could have been, and never will be.
¶ 8:14 AM 2 comments
03 October 2006
Lets Go Mets Go // Playoff Predictions ??
If you'll recall, last summer (2005) I wrote about the Mets quite a bit. I didn't that much this summer. That is not because I was not following them, but instead because I was following them so intensely that were I to try to write about them, I would go on and on, endlessly, pointlessly, and lose the few readers I have (at last count, the number was somewhere under 50,000). Because of that, and also because my intense coverage of the US Men's National Team at the World Cup seemed to, um, not exactly bring them success: I will not write much aboout their playoff run, however short or long it may be.
That said, please enjoy the writing at one of my favorite Mets blogs, Metstradamus, and his game by game predictions for the Mets-Dodgah's NL Divisional Championship Series. I particularly like his prediction for game 2 (not the result, just the prediction):
For some brilliant Mets-inspired writing: Faith and Fear in Flushing.
PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
What are your playoff predictions? Leave them in the comments, if you so choose. Even if you just want to say, "The Yankees will win the World Series."
My predictions: Yankees beat Oakland to win the AL, Mets beat St. Louis to win the NL, Mets beat the Yankees to win the World Series, and Derek Jeter is apprehended by the NYPD before he can conduct a suicide bombing mission against the Mets ticker-tape parade. Derek Jeter will then be exposed as a Hezbollah freedom fighter with loose ties to Syrian intelligence. You think not?
¶ 9:39 PM 2 comments
That said, please enjoy the writing at one of my favorite Mets blogs, Metstradamus, and his game by game predictions for the Mets-Dodgah's NL Divisional Championship Series. I particularly like his prediction for game 2 (not the result, just the prediction):
Game 2 (Time Change): The game time of Thursday's Game 2 is changed from 8PM to 1PM ET. FOX execs explain because the late switch of Greg Maddux in favor of Hong-Chih Kuo, there isn't enough time to think of new angles to replace the Tom Glavine vs. Greg Maddux storyline. FOX instead runs the Derek Jeter Yankeeography three consecutive times at 8PM.See, right there, I can tell there is too much "inside" Mets joking going on with that. Sorry. But you get the Jeter thing, right?
Glavine goes eight strong innings giving up three runs, prompting Daily News scribe Bill Madden to write that the Mets starting rotation is the worst he's seen since the 1899 Cleveland Spiders. But Kuo exploits the Mets weakness against lefthanded pitching and goes eight shutout innings to preserve the 3-0 victory, tying the series at one game apiece. After the game, Kuo goes to his locker to find all his clothes missing, with a note taped to his locker that reads "KNOW YOUR PLACE, LEFTY...from: your opponents."
For some brilliant Mets-inspired writing: Faith and Fear in Flushing.
PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
What are your playoff predictions? Leave them in the comments, if you so choose. Even if you just want to say, "The Yankees will win the World Series."
My predictions: Yankees beat Oakland to win the AL, Mets beat St. Louis to win the NL, Mets beat the Yankees to win the World Series, and Derek Jeter is apprehended by the NYPD before he can conduct a suicide bombing mission against the Mets ticker-tape parade. Derek Jeter will then be exposed as a Hezbollah freedom fighter with loose ties to Syrian intelligence. You think not?
¶ 9:39 PM 2 comments
On Power
From the New York Times lead editorial this morning:
¶ 9:43 AM 0 comments
History suggests that once a political party achieves sweeping power, it will only be a matter of time before the power becomes the entire point. Policy, ideology, ethics all gradually fall away, replaced by a political machine that exists to win elections and dispense the goodies that come as a result. The only surprise in Washington now is that the Congressional Republicans managed to reach that point of decayed purpose so thoroughly, so fast.(political wire)
¶ 9:43 AM 0 comments
02 October 2006
Who Da Man?
Never forget your indefinite articles. So was the lesson learned by Neil Armstrong, when he said "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" upon landing on the moon. Really, he meant "a man", as saying "man" without an article in front of it essentially causes it to mean "mankind." Well, according to this article, a computer analysis of the audio recorded that day shows that Armstrong really might have said "a", as he says he intended to.
Wow. Think of the consequences. Say something wrong at work, and simply produce an ex post facto analysis that shows you actually got it right the first time around. I know I could use that.
I will keep you updated on this software, and if it does indeed become freely available, I will post it here so that you can all have the opportunity to rewrite (rerecord?) history.
¶ 11:43 AM 0 comments
Wow. Think of the consequences. Say something wrong at work, and simply produce an ex post facto analysis that shows you actually got it right the first time around. I know I could use that.
I will keep you updated on this software, and if it does indeed become freely available, I will post it here so that you can all have the opportunity to rewrite (rerecord?) history.
¶ 11:43 AM 0 comments
